Cob: how do folks handle other responsibilities duringbuildin g?

[Tony Glaser]

On Fri, 27 Aug 1999, Tom Fetter wrote:

> Tony, it's simply not so easy as you suggest to have my family "join a club" 
> that would help build my house.  My eldest is almost 8.  There's no way on 
> God's green earth that significant work could happen at a quick pace with 
> all of my 3 around (baby included), and neither of the older 2 would sustain 
> the work for more than a half an hour at a time.  What then?

I wasn't suggesting they join the club, I was suggesting you form one that
they could if they wanted to, and find other people who do.  I understand
that you can not accomplish what you want to on your own. But what about 5
or 10 other famillies just like yours?  I think between the lot of you you
could share the tasks of baby sitting and building.  I think it would also
be a great way to meet others and I'm sure your kids would make some
friends too.

> I didn't BELIEVE the significance of life changes, once kids came along ... 
> it's gives simply remarkable benefits in terms of personally growing up, but 
> you're not "free" in the same way ever again.  And so far as I can tell, 
> folks can't grasp the enormity of this 'till they become responsible for 
> ongoing everyday caregiving in some context (children, elders, folks with 
> disabilities, etc.).  I sure didn't, and nor have my childless friends.

I agree with the expression 'never judge a man untill you've walked a mile
in his shoes' but not the expression 'when you're as old as I am you'll
understand'.

I'll assume you're using the first one.

Anyway, for the sake of being redundant, find other families like yours
and share the task of caregiving AND building.  If you're saying you just
don't have the time and it's not possible then of course you are right.
But maybe you do have the time to find allies and strategize, and by the
time you're ready to build your kids'll be a bit older and you'll have a
network of babysitters.

I think there are a lot of people out there who would love to build an
alternative home or retreat, but they just don't feel empowered to do so.
Come up with a group plan, find these people, and sell it to them.  Maybe
you'll all just build a cottage or two to share. Whatever. I'm sure it's
possible if you want to do it... just like most other things.

Cheers,

Tony





--------------------------------------------
Anthony Glaser
aglaser at engsoc.carleton.ca
http://www.engsoc.carleton.ca/~aglaser
Year 2 Electrical
Faculty of Engineering, Carleton University